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Agony Guy

 New Agony | Intercession | Parents | Mixed Relationships | School | Infidelity | Boy Friend Problems | Failed Test | Fellowship | Guilt | Forgive | Sex | I'm Fat


Intercession

It is my belief that every Christian is not called to be an intercessor. The prayer of faith saves the sick, not the prayer of an intercessor. I am not against intercessors in any way...I am perplexed that many keep assuming I am an intercessor when God has not revealed this to me as such.

I am of the belief that intercessors are devout prayer warriors who travail with perseverance and fervour. They pray their burdens "through". Can you give me a definition of an intercessor? Is an intercessor called? surely if were an intercessor would I not know it? I operate in gifts of the Holy Spirit, but God has not revealed to me this office in my own life? - JP


JP, In Ephesians 4 it teaches us about the leadership structure of the church. There is no position there as an intercessor. However, I believe some people are called to that ministry within the five-fold gifting as shown in that passage.

Rees Howells Intercessor, by Norman Grubb, is the best book ever written to help Christians understand what intercession is. Visit our pages about Rees Howells .

I personally believe that a very small percentage of the church is called to be "an intercessor", yet all of us are called to pray on behalf of people. I also believe that most of the people who believe that are in "intercession" are actually in prayer. It seems like I am playing with words, but Rees Howells book will make it clear.

The intercessor has clear objectives in their intercession and they will continue until they have an answer. They are bound to the intercession and can never walk away like most people do when they pray for people. The Holy Spirit within the intercessor will lead them into the place of abiding, and they will remain in it until they have total victory.

So much of our prayer lives are very shallow. We pray as we desire and give up when we are fed up, without any real knowing that we have achieved anything. The intercessor is led by the Holy Spirit and will always see an answer - be it yes or no.
If you are an intercessor you will know it. They have a specific calling. Moving in the gifts does not constitute a calling as an intercessor.




Parents

I am having problems with my parents. I am 16 and I feel like they want me to be 27. I do just about everything in the house. I clean, I cook (not all the time, but a lot), I watch my three little sisters CONSTANTLY, and I have grown so tired of it. They tell me not to worry about it, but when I don't, I get in soooo much trouble. It's not fair! God has helped me get through it, but I need help from others, too. I don't know what to do.

They are Christians, but they constantly tell me how irresponsible I am and how I won't be able to drive or go out or do anything until I get a job. How am I supposed to hold down a job and everything else I have to do there, ALL while going to school, too.

It is my mum and my step dad, and I'm only there on the weekends, but it is awful. I feel guilty because the only real reason I go there is to go to church, which is the only place I feel I can be free. But, then I go home, and I feel guilty for turning on the television, wondering what I should be doing instead. I don't believe it is fair to put so much pressure on a teenager. I have tried talking to them, but it doesn't help. I don't know what to do!

Pam, You sound like a very hard, responsible worker who has had a lot of responsibility place upon you at such an early age. I can understand how sometimes you get frustrated and upset.

We are told to ‘honour our parents’, Exodus 20:12, Ephesians 6:1-3. (Even when they make bad mistakes and are unkind etc!) When you have to do your duties try to do them ‘to the glory of God’, 1 Corinthians 10:31. Try not to think upon the circumstances, but ask yourself “What is God try to teach me through this?”(Galatians 5:22, 23, the fruit of the Spirit). Remember that we usually only grow in character and faith through difficult times. (James 1:2-4, Romans 5:3-4).

Continue to talk to God about how you feel, as He is interested and wants the best for you. ‘Cast your cares onto Him because He cares for you’ 1 Peter 5:7. Try to talk to someone within your church, maybe a youth Pastor, elder, mature lady or a friend as it is good to get things unloaded ‘Bear one another’s burdens and so fulfil the law of Christ’ Galatians 6:2.

Often we don’t come up to our parents expectations but your Heavenly Father is well pleased with you and loves and accepts you for who you are and not for what you can do for Him.

Maybe your dad and step mom are just frustrated with many things, say the mortgage, money worries, work, the neighbour etc but take it out on you as a release valve. Often we hurt the ones we love. There is nothing wrong with staying at your dads and step mom place because you feel happy with the church that you attend. But maybe your dad and step mom know this and wished that the real reason would be because of them. For you it must also be difficult having to live in 2 places every week, this can also cause a strain on your mind and body.

Resting and relaxing is all part of a healthy lifestyle, even Jesus told His disciples to ‘rest awhile’ Mark 6:31. Feel free in the liberty of Christ Jesus to watch some TV etc and I hope you don’t feel under pressure to be working!. Roman 8:1 tells us that ‘There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus’. So don’t feel condemned and don’t allow the devil to condemn you either. Your school work is your first priority and perhaps if you got a job you would not be able to keep your grades up. Personally when I was a teenager I had to quit my job as my grades were failing. As Christians we do not have to live up to the expectations of our friends etc as we are all individuals. Many of your friends may have a job or a car but for some people it is not yet feasible. Try not to worry about future problems when you can drive etc and take one day at a time, Matthew 6:34.

God is well able to give you His grace in difficult and trying situations and the work that He has started in you, He will complete, Philippians 1:6.

Find out more here.


Mixed Relationships

At my school there are all these racist people and they all say that God does not approve of mixed relationships.

Well, there is this black girl I like and they said this to me the other day and I got really angry lost my cool and just yelled "yeah in the redneck bible." I realize that I was out of line but I could not help wandering if God would disapprove of a relationship with this girl. Thank yo for your help.- Joel.

Joel, The Bible says, 'For there is no difference both of Jew and of Greek, for the same Lord over all is rich to all who call on Him' Rom 10:12. There is one God and He is Lord of every people group.

It is pure racism to say God does not want mixed relationships. Moses married an Ethiopian (Numbers 12:1) and he was Jewish. Jesus and most of the leaders of early church were Jews by birth, which would mean their skin colour would have been light brown, not white or black. So it is ok in God's sight to have a relationship with someone from a different cultural back ground.

However, the Bible makes is clear that we must no seek a relationship with a non-Christian, because we cannot do God's will whilst in such a relationship, (2 Corinthians 6:14).

Also the Bible does not encourage us to go through many relationships, where we hurt and get hurt, but to pray and consider carefully if we have peace about having a relationship with someone.

"For man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart". 1 Samuel 16:7.

Find out more here.








How can I be consistent at school?

I'm a Christian and I have a problem with keeping my faith at the same level. Like when I’m at church or at home I’m a great example of a Christian, but when I’m at school or with my friends I’m not the best of people. I just want to know if you can help me? -John

Dear John,

Most people experience what you are talking about. When we are with non-Christians, it can be easier to do wrong, than stand up for truth.

Before the Lord you need to make a choice to be consistent in your faith walk. If you realise that the Holy Spirit is living in you, then holiness of lifestyle can follow when we are out of church. Also having a clear vision to grow in God helps keep us on the right track.

I really believe God is pleased with your heart cry; to be consistent 24/7, so don't get discouraged.

The Bible says, "He who walks with the wise grows wise". If possible, talk with another Christian around your age and ask for help and prayer. If you can pray through this with another and be accountable it will be good for you.

Also is there another Christian at your school with the same problem whom you could help?





Infidelity

How can my relationship overcome a moment of infidelity?

I am 20 - a searching non-Christian and my girlfriend is 19 and a Christian. We having been dating for over 2 years and have put in lots of solid foundations to hopefully get married in the future.

We recently moved to university and live in different flats. One night my girlfriend got too drunk again and ended up snogging and being 'groped' by her flatmate. I want to forgive her and she told me the very next day but I am stuck with why? I am hurting so much. For the time being we have imposed a 1 drink rule for her, but this will make her feel controlled and should only be a short-term measure. I want a solution to our problems as it has been a month and nothing especially constructive has happened. My girlfriend is very upset and doesn't know what she can do. She feels helpless.

We both want our relationship to have shared values and meaning, finding a church together would be good, but I have been losing/lost my will to know/find God for myself for over a year now. There is also a pressure of knowing that I can't marry her till I am a Christian, but I may never find God so am I wasting my time? How long will we have to wait? I want to marry her, I want to have a shared belief, and I want to make love!

NB I've found my type of praying has been angry type – “show yourself - reveal yourself, why don't you" ......... but to no avail so I've been gradually giving up.

In short I want us to move on, I want 'God' to finally make Himself real to me and I want to be able to love my soul mate.

If I was talking to God I’d say - "Heal our wounds, teach me to forgive and flippin show Yourself -I'm FED UP of not knowing You exist and getting no answer to my prayer". If I was talking to my girlfriend I’d say - "You've really hurt me but I really love you. I need to see you love me; you're trying to find a way of saving our relationship and healing the wounds you gave me."

Lastly, we've made many mistakes in our intimate life together but since this major problem we feel that we so need to make love. When we're rational, we want to wait till we're married.







Let’s deal with this in stages.

1) Finding God. The Bible promises us that we will find God if we continue and do not give up. Sometimes God tests us to see if we really want Him, rather than the benefits of knowing Him.

Jeremiah 29:13 ‘And you shall seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.’

I know the feeling of being angry in prayers, why have I not had the answer yet. But, I also know what it is like to have prayers answered after a long wait, and that changes everything - keep going. Take a look at the 8 conditions for answered prayer here. You could also look at having faith in God here.

2) Drink. It sounds like your girlfriend is not sure about the advice in the Bible about drinking.

Eph 5:18 ‘And do not be drunk with wine, in which is excess, but be filled with the Spirit.’

We have the choice - get drunk and enjoy it for a short time, or seek for fullness of the Spirit, harder to find, yet deeply, and continuously fulfilling. Also we should take God's warning about drink,

Pro 20:1 ‘Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging, and whoever goes astray by it is not wise.’

Your girlfriend made this mistake because she did not know this verse. It shows us that when we get drunk, we make fools out of ourselves. She put your relationship in a dangerous situation because of this drink. Is drink more important than your love?

The Bible is not against drinking, but it is against having too much and getting drunk.

3) Forgiveness. It sounds like she made a stupid mistake because of drink. It hurts, and you have a right to be angry. If she was sober would she have made the same mistake - I don't think so. After working through your anger, you need to forgive her, and move on. Chat it through, be honest, but be very kind. Remember she did not hide this from you, she told you. She knows that it was stupid, and it sounds like she does not want to lose you. Find out how to forgive here.

4) Sex. If you really love her, you will want the best for her. The best is to wait for marriage until sleeping together. You must choose, do I love her, or lust after her. If you are going to sleep with her, you are showing you lust after her, not love her. You will also be telling God that you are not interested in His plan - which is the best for you. Find out how to make guide lines here.

I hope it all works out for you.








Boyfriend problems

Hi, I am very confused and don't know what to do, please help me to do the right thing. At the beginning of August my boyfriend dumped me and a few days later on a revival holiday Jesus set me free from all of the sexual sin me that happened between us, it was the main reason we split because I felt so guilty but my boyfriend didn't care about doing sexual things as he doesn't believe in God. At the revival holiday I met someone else who also got set free and touched by the Holy Spirit. We are now going out but I just recently went away on a dance tour with my group and I never missed my boyfriend at all, instead I have started having feelings for someone else who is also in the dance group. But there is a problem he doesn't believe in God and he is going back to University miles away from where I live. I can't stop thinking about him though and I don't know what I should do, I know he likes me to but I have a boyfriend! Please help. - Rin


Rin, I am so pleased that Jesus has set you free from many of the mistakes that you made in the past. The Holy Spirit is working in your life because you knew you were doing wrong and you were prepared to repent.

So you really like another guy, even though you have a boyfriend. Emotions are there to complement our lives, to make them better - but not to make decisions for us. We can make choices based on God’s Word, not our feelings. If we always listen to our emotions we can make big mistakes.

Should you consider going out with him?

1) Do you want to hurt you boyfriend by dumping him for someone else?
2) Is it right to go out with a non-Christian?

The Bible says this, 'Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?' 2 Corinthians 6:14.

Christians should live to please God. Non-Christians usually live to please themselves. Should we go out with non-Christians when the Bible tells us not to? This is where you and I make a choice – God’s will or mine? If we choose God's will, He will bless us, even though it may be hard.

Do you want to make another mistake by going out with a non-Christian?

3) Should you stay with your boyfriend?

It sounds like you not sure about your boyfriend any more. Maybe you should take a step back from that relationship, get some breathing space and then consider if you still want to be with him.

Take time to think and pray, let the dust settle and ask yourself if you still want to continue with this boyfriend. Find out more here.






Failed Test

I failed my driving test today. I was really ready and I had been talking to God and praying about it loads. I got my parents to keep praying, grandparents, my whole youth group, and now I've failed! I feel like God wants me to be miserable or He's trying to punish me. Now my studies are much harder with the extra time I need to fit in the extra lessons leading up to another test. I don't like blaming God for anything, but I do feel like He's betrayed me. After sticking up for Him and being mocked by my peers for being a Christian, God doesn't even let me pass my driving test. Why? - David.


Dear David, I was sorry to hear about your disappointment. None of us want to blame God because we know it is wrong, however most of us do sometimes. I got an E in French (ouch). You seemed to have done everything right, living for God, getting everyone to pray and studying hard. So it is legitimate to ask why? Even Jesus asked God 'why?' on the cross.

However, there are many questions that remain unanswered. Jesus did say that we will have tribulation in this life. In 1 Peter 1:6/7, we find that our faith is tested by these trials. The result is that we grow stronger, our faith is purer. Even though we do not know why you failed, this is the time to renew your faith in God. When you are ready tell Him, ‘I do not understand, and yet I trust in You’. There is great victory in doing that.

God does not want to punish you. Jesus said, ‘I have come that you might have life’ John 10:10. Remember the Bible shows us that ‘God is good’. The devil wants this failure to trip you up. But God wants you to use this situation as a stepping stone to move on in Him. Remember Joseph, his life got really, really hard, but in the end he saw God’s great blessings, (Read what happened to Joseph here: Genesis Chapters 37-41).






I Need a Church!

I became a Christian 6 months ago. Since then I have been going to my brothers church and hanging out with his Christian friends. The problem is that he lives far away and I know he does not want me to be staying in his house every weekend. I desperately want to find some Christian friends of my own and a Church where I can become deeply involved but there are no youth churches near to where I live. I feel now in my life that I want to do work full time for the Lord. What do you think I should do? - Jenni


Jenni you really have a heart for God, and that is so great. Your faith has grown very quickly and a desire to work full time for the Lord shows you are being changed by the Holy Spirit. It is very important that you go to a church where you can grow in God, and have fellowship. The Christian Enquiry agency may be able to help you find a youth church near to you (Go There). Also you could search through find a church (Go There).

If you want to do mission work, follow some of our mission links and search the net. This is a good time to pray and ask God to solve this situation for you. Also you could have a chat with your brother and explain the situation and see what happens.






Feeling Guilty

I seem to live under a cloud of guilt all the time. My hearts desire is to be right with God. But I seem to sin all the time, and then I go through the guilt trip, and it never seems to end! Help! – Bob.


Bob, it’s amazing that your hearts desire is to be right with God. God is looking down from heaven smiling on you. It is true that the Holy Spirit will convict us of sin, the reason is that He wants us to be restored to Holiness. However, it seems like the devil is trying to condemn you. The Bible says when you confess sin, God forgives it, and never remembers it again. Romans 8:1 shows us we do not have to live under a feeling of condemnation, because we are set free from it. When you feel like that again, tell the devil about Romans 8:1, and the power of the blood of Jesus, then you’ll be free. Remember God looks at your heart, not your performance. Follow this thought here.



Forgive?

My best friend cheated on me about a 3 weeks ago. So I really shouted at her and made her look silly in front of everyone, at the time I felt good that I got her back. But a few weeks on, we still have not spoke, I miss her, but do not want to forgive her, because she hurt me so much. – Jenny.

Jenny, God wants you to live in freedom. When you do not forgive, it keeps all that pain inside, and the bad thoughts go around and around in your head. Make a choice to restore your friendship again. Forgive her, and ask for her forgiveness for how you made her look silly.

Jesus died for us even when we did not care about Him. As you forgive your friend, you will find freedom from those bitter thoughts, and your relationship will be on the way to restoration. See our pages about forgiveness



Sex

God was speaking to me and told me not to have sex with my boyfriend. But I did not listen. A few weeks later we split up. I have never felt so bad. I lost my boyfriend, and threw away my virginity. What shall I do now? I really wish I did what God told me. – Sue.

Sue, I am sorry to hear about your break-up. That can be such a painful experience. It can take some time to get your emotions together again, time is a healer. You are sad about your mistake, and God loves it when you are willing to change.

1 John 1:9 tells us that if we confess our sins, God will forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. God can turn this mistake into a blessing, so please don’t despair. Let the healing process take place, and then move on; God has a great plan for you. There is more advice on our site here



I'm Fat.

I am one of the fattest guys at my College. I hate looking in the mirror, and when I go out I look at the ground, I feel everyone is laughing at me. What should I do, I am so lonely? – Jeff.

Jeff, how do we measure the cost of something? Usually it is by knowing how much people would pay for it. No one would pay £5000.00 for an X Box, because it is not worth that. How much did God pay so you could go to heaven? It was Jesus’ death. He died in your place. How much is Jesus worth? He is priceless.

God says your worth is so much, that He would give everything, even His Son for you, you are priceless in His sight. If you believe that, you'll begin to feel so much better. You really need to speak to a mature Christian leader in your church who can help you and introduce you to some Christian friends who will accept you for who you are. Here are some ideas to help you not feel so alone.



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