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At the Gates of Heaven

A man appears before the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asks. "Well, I can think of one thing…once I came upon a gang of Hells Angels who were threatening an old lady. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker, and kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, threw it on the ground and told him, "Leave her alone now or you'll answer to me.'" St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?" "Five minutes ago!"

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